Dating advice for new couples
“Your strengths matter for your marriage,” she says.
“A potential husband should celebrate your strengths and want you to flourish in things you’re good at and to gently help you in your weaknesses.” She adds: “You should never have to dumb yourself down to be appealing to a spouse.
You can say, “I’m sorry for my part of the problem” even if you’re secretly convinced that you’re only 28% to blame. An entrenched non-apologizer may use a nonverbal way to try to defuse tension, reconnect after a fight, or show he’s in a new place and wants to move toward you. You can say, “I’m giving myself a time out from this conversation. It’s comfortable and cozy when two people know absolutely everything about each other but we’re more likely to be drawn to a partner who has connections and a passion for life outside the relationship. I very much agreee that in a long-term realationship, marrried or otherwise, that it is vital to keep some self-focus and vibrancy for ourselves and the good of the relationship.
Often, we (and, women in particular) are taught to ignore our internal states, and what feels right/not right to us, in order to please other people.Here are 15 essential tips from Marriage Rules: A Manual for The Married and The Coupled Up. Make sure that your positive comments exceed critical ones by a healthy margin. Get more bite marks on your tongue, by letting all but the most important issues go by. To decide you won’t be a physical partner because you don’t feel like it is like his deciding that there will be no more conversation because he’s not a talker. Since he has had open heart surgery, left the hospital with his son to make sure he made a lock box and took care of issues in case something went wrong. He does pay my car insurance and picks up on the meds if I happen to come up short that month.When you have a criticism, make it in three sentences or less. If you have a fair and good partner, there is probably something you can do that wouldn’t be too terribly difficult. He teaches a Bible Study class but it seems there are things that are being neglected at home.Wilkin offers a warning for those who who gladly affirm biblical gender roles.Wilkin, who writes, speaks, and teaches women the Bible, enourages women to be sure that a man celebrates her strengths and doesn’t feel threatened by them.